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[.::My own personal hell::.]
(me)
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silence
your words bombard me
like the fiery rains of hell comming my way
I Will Not Let you Get Me Down
just because you're there
doesn't mean you have to take me down with you
I'm already in my own
hell
from crony to foe in an instant
from loving to animosity
in an instant
you can become a monster
in my own personal
hell
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hehe...might need some touch ups...but I like it...off to eat

hold me now, as I am alone with my memories, and they hurt
that wonderful summer
that awful summer
that summer

.::[the first summer of my life]::.
(me)
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beautiful sunny days
captivating dusks watching the sun go
Down, Down
looking into each other's eyes
everthing was right and everything was wonderful
that summer would last forever
never turn into the deadly fall
never turn to bring regrets
questioning
never to end
the days, they ended
always the same
always so wonderful
yet always so horrible
talking, laughing, happiness
depression, anger, sadness
that summer feels like it must have been
the first summer of my Life
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I'm such a b*tch. such a horrible mother f*cking loser.
gah. there's no one I can f*cking talk to
my dad would just make a joke out of it
or get all lecture let me talk to you about life stuff
or angry
my mom would just get angry
yell at me
we'd fight
my friends...I don't want to burden them with my sh*t...and I don't feel like telling the world

I si-ed today for the first time since like sept or oct
method: scratching via safety pin
people please try not to bug me about it
I just feel like saying it
I know it's a bad thing (in my opinion)
it felt good
I'm thinking of trying salting
I wonder if we have any ice cubes?

oh yea
I wanna make cinnamon muffins, IF someone ever goes and gets more cooking oil.

what a sh*tty day
what a sh*tty life

I am such a God d*mned mother f*cking sh*t eating rotting filthy disgusting wh*rish f*gget h0 who should burn in hell.

I want to draw or have drawn a picture of me with all of my limbs being torn off, my guts being ripped out, and my heart being taken out and put through a coleslaw shredder. Then my head would get ripped off and be thrown around and sh*tted on and just in general mutilated and f*cked up.

the end.

meeer today was so fun
from a convo cos I don't wanna type

I went walking around town with laura, kristen, nate, dan, and mellanie after school
walking along the road I kept collecting trash
yanno those flags with the long wire and little red flag at the end for like marking electric lines?
I found one and was waving it
then I found an empty beer can and put it on the end
someone driving by called this lady had a dog she was walking
me hippy and I came up to it like I was gonna pet it
I put my skirt over him she just walked away kinda fast
put my skirt over it like a lil doggy tent

I'll edit this later

wooo last night I went to Mallory's birthday party and there was 12-13 girls there and we talked and ate junk food and watched movies and it was a fun time [=

hmm my brother's birthday is on tuesday, he'll be 8 gigantic years old, which he says means he can sign up for karate lol...my parents are having a party for him at chuck e. cheese's on thursday. whacky times...

tomorrow it'll be 1 year since I met Brent...I feel kindof dorky for thinking about it a lot...but hey I consider it to be some sort of milestone or something...I'll prolly just...sleep...but hopefully get to talk with him and reflect back on things.

oh oh

I GOT A PART IN THE MIGHTY ARMADILLOS!!!!!

haha yea I'm pretty excited...I play Alice, one of Gertrude's (Jessica H.) friends on the chess team. the chess team is against the dillys, this group of uber preppy girls, and the jocks are against the chess team, and the gang is like against everyone or something...yea it'll be pretty fun :D

meeer I'm out ~_0

I'm so diseased right now...I barfed up all my creamy chicken and wild rice soup from yesterday's lunch this morning around 4:45....feels like I could barf again any minute x_x

I had such an awesome dream this morning before I barfed again a bit around 6:45. I was gonna plant a garden :o)

I am 24% Goth

I wanna be a GOTH. But I'm not. Smoking cloves and too much eyeliner a goth does not make. I'll go home and take your Cure CD's with me.

Take the Goth Test at fuali.com

I am 32% Geek

You probably work in computers, or a history deptartment at a college. You never really fit in with the "normal" crowd. But you have friends, and this is a good thing.

Take the Geek Test at fuali.com

ahem


doc martins, my friend! a standard staple, even for
work, just unique enough to make you cooler
than Joe from the office.


What kind of boots do you wear?
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You are happy noodle boy. You are the spawn of pure
randomness, you are a bum who stands on a box
and yells at things!


Which Squee character are you?
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I am 57% Internet Addict

I am pretty addicted, but there is hope. I think I'm just well connected to the internet and technology, but it's really a start of a drug-like addiction. I must act now! Unplug this computer!

Take the Internet Addict Test at fuali.com